Is Obsessive List-making a Sign of Genious?

“Real happiness consists in not what we actually accomplish, but what we think we accomplish.”

So, I didn’t actually finish reading the article on BBC which you can find on www.bbc.co.uk (and yes, I’m too lazy to find the link) – becuase I was too busy working on my To Do list – but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that yes, I am in fact a genious.

So without further adieu:

My “Things to do before I’m too old to have any more adventures list. (So lets say in the next thirty years…if all goes well)”

(That’s just the working title.)

1. Get laid at least once more (because really…this dry spell is just getting ridiculous!)….To further this thought, I should probably have sex with at least one person in every country I’ve ever been to. So, I’ll have to start over and revisit every country I’ve ever been in.

2. Get my GPA up to….let me think reasonably here….3.7…which still isn’t “awsome” but…it’s better then what I sit at right now.

3. Travel to “generic third world country” and get dysentary. Becuase then I could eat a chocolate bar that I’m craving right now, without haivng to worry about my pants fitting tomorrow! I should probably visit said generic third world contry soon.

4. Learn how to ride a camel. (You never know what that skill could come in handy.)

5. Stop talking to friends that I don’t actually like and get knew awsome friends that want to do awsome things.  (Awsome things does not include spending all your money on pizza, whining about being fat, and talking about boys that hate you.) For the record, I’m pretty sure everyone man and woman, loves me.

5. Give Channing Tatum a back massage.

6. Learn how to shoot a gun, preferably a large impressive gun. I will also be wearing really cool sunglasses when I get someone to take pictures of my shooting said awsome gun. (note: get new sunglasses, I only have purple ones, and I purple guns aren’t cool).

7. Go on a whirlwind international adventure that will not include the following countries:

• Mexico – everyone’s been to Mexico! That’s not impressive at all.
• Bangladesh – I’m scared I will step in some skin puncturing garbage that may or may not give me some weird blood disease that will kick off the spread of some sort of zombie creating disease. I don’t want to be one of the ones left in the aftermath but, I don’t want to be patient ZERO either. (I’d definitely go to hell then!)
• Actually, pretty much all of South America because…well, I don’t give a shit. Except for southern Argentina….and….does Easter Island count? (Does that belong to Chile? Cuz I’d totally go there. Apparently the people ate each other….I didn’t intend to have a zombie theme, but apparently that’s where this is going.)
• China – because I want to breathe are that is practically full of fecal matter and foot smell? No thanks.
• Africa – Yes I know this is a continent, and not a country, but it just scares me. Except Morocco…and….Libya …and…maybe Egypt. No joke, I heard Libya is supposed to be the new hot up and coming tourist destination (I know that sounds like sarcasm, but it’s actually not!)
• Greenland – What the fuck is in Greenland? Is it even a country?
• Portugal – Don’t most Portuguese guys have hairy backs?

8. Get an A on the group presentation. We will rock.

9. Hitchike across central asian countries, in the back of a truck with no shocks, that may or may not have livestock in it… when I am having my period. (That will just add that much more drama.)

10. Again, I’m curious of what it might feel like to get shot. But not in the head, torso or my femoral artery! (Like I said, upper arm fat would be ideal.)

11. Have sex on a train, but not the shitty ghetto Indian train to Churchill. If I did that, I’d have to add “get hepatitus” to my seperate but equally important. “Disease and parasites I want to contract List.”

12. Have sex with a delightful heavy browed Russian who  might practice gymnastics…and have a few prison tattoos.

13. Make plaid a staple in my wardrobe (I own none!).

14. Pat a tiger.

15. Try some sort of illegal drug. (This will not be followed by a disasterous smuggling attempt that will land me in a Turkish Prison, although, now that I think of it. I wouldn’t be opposed to the sex that comes with long term jail stints. Which I’m only familiar with becuase of Hollywood.)

Ok…I think that would lead to a wholly fulfilling life.

I’m sure I’ll come up with follow up lists.

(Ie – Diseases I wouldn’t mind “suffering” from.)