Brainstorming with J: Dry Vagina

The following is a conversation with J to help me come up with blogging ideas.

Me – I need help brainstorming, all I have is a list of why I’d rather be a hostage than a prisoner, and a note that I need to write a poem “An Ode to the Mustache”.

J – How about I tasted my menstrual blood today because Germain Greer told me to? Have you done that?

Me – What?

J – It’s supposed to help you overcome your subconscious fear of your vagina.

Me – I love my vagina! I embrace the power of my vagina. But I don’t want to taste blood from anything…except my mouth when I get punched for the very first time.

J – You’ve never been punched?

Me – No, but I like that I seem badass anyways. But it’s only a matter of time since I’m working at the bar now. And when I do, I can do a Mouth versus Vagina blood compare and contrast list. P.S. The winter is making my vagina dry. (It even has dry flaky skin!)

J – Talk about your dry vagina.

Me – No! I just talked about my saggy old tits. People will think I’m falling apart!

I don’t have enough to say about my dry vagina for a whole post….and I’m not posting a picture….but something I learned? You can’t use any face moisturizer. Some burn.

I google imaged "dry vagina" and got this. I get that it's for dry vaginas. But who's the chick? Is she like the Muslim equivalent of Dr. Ruth?